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Yom Kippur & Forgiveness

yom kippur

Disclaimer: Elise Ho, aka “Dr. Ho” is a Holistic Health & Life Coach. Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer, or a bevy of other things. Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends. Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product, or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. This is a personal Website solely reflecting Dr. Ho’s personal opinions. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of any organization with which I may be affiliated.

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This is a repost of a Yom Kippur blog post that I wrote back in 2011.

Yom Kippur….  is the final push for forgiveness of the past year’s transgressions.

The Day of Atonement.

Do I deserve forgiveness? Do you deserve forgiveness?

Once we forgive do we forget? How do we protect ourselves from someone else’s “sins” causing harm to us? Just when is it appropriate to forgive? Is it ever appropriate to forget?

There are certain actions that, in my opinion, are not worthy of forgiveness. There are others that I do believe can be forgiven. I am a fairly forgiving person. I accept that people, myself included, may have done things in their past that they very much regret. I can totally appreciate AND respect that. If one can recognize and admit to their poor choices then that is deserving of respect. 

If you can show me, through words and actions, that you genuinely regret whatever it is that was done to hurt me than it is a pretty safe bet that I will forgive.

Some may say that this makes me a fool. The saying ” Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” comes to mind. I, however, do not think that this thought process makes me a fool. I do think that this thought process makes me a caring person who really does want to see the best in everyone.

I want to forgive you because I, contrary to many, do believe that people can change.

To this end, for anyone reading this (or not reading it), I say “apologize and show me the new attitude and let’s get on with living happy lives.”

For those reading this (or not reading it), who have no idea that their behaviors are hurting our relationship, I ask you to please think about what I have said to you and try to understand another person’s point of view.  You do not have to agree with it, just respect the person that it came from.

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Naturally Yours,
Elise Ho
Ph.D., D.N. Psych.
Behavioral & Mental Health Specialist

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27 thoughts on “Yom Kippur & Forgiveness”

  1. I think for me forgiveness depends on the actions of the person. I have. admittedly, felt it difficult to let wrongs go in the past, but I found letting it all go definitely made me feel better. I’ve never met a single angry person who is truly happy.

  2. Erika Mohssen-Beyk

    Forgiveness is for many people an issue. But without forgiveness, it is difficult to live and the bitterness will not leave. I like this Chinese proverb: Forgiveness shows strength, “Forgiveness is not foolishness, only a fool does not forgive “
    It is not always easy, But: To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.- Robert Muller
    Thanks for this post

  3. Hi Dr. Elise,

    I agree with your reasoning about forgiveness.

    In the longview, though, I think forgiveness is an act of love done for our own well-being. To forgive ends the power the person who wronged has held over us. In a sense then, it has nothing to do with the offender or what they did, or didn’t do.

    Then again, what do I know? 😉

  4. Elise, every day I live in forgiveness of myself so I can be a better person to forgive others. This isn’t always easy, however, I do believe we are not fools to come from a place of love-our hearts. There are always lessons to grow and learn from and do this in love and not shame is the best. Still growing on this one!

  5. Forgiveness is tough in a society where everyone feels wronged all the time. Look at the road rage reports b/c Car A cut off Car B. Car B driver takes it as intentional and cannot let it go. Though no one was really wronged, we can’t Move on – forget actually Forgiving.

  6. Good choice to repost, as forgiveness is an important topic. I try to remember that forgiving doesn’t mean I’m saying the action was ok, I’m just freeing myself from pain it caused.

  7. I am a complete advocate of forgiveness; some might say I forgive too easily. However, I do believe that in order to forgive, a discussion might be warranted with each party to possibly address where the conflict or hurt might have stemmed from to begin with. I have never harbored ill feelings; negative thinking or feelings just becomes a “trapped emotion” and does physical and mental harm to ourselves.

  8. Elise, I don’t think of you as a “fool” for possessing the spirit of forgiveness. I will admit it’s sometimes difficult for me to forgive, but as it’s something I’ve been struggling with and working on these past few years, I have gotten better at. So much of forgiveness is based on intention: the intention of the person who has wronged me. Was it purposeful or unintentional? And I agree with you: while there are some things we can forgive, some are unforgivable. But I do believe that if I can go a little deeper by seeing things from another perspective, it will play a major role in whether or not I can truly forgive.

    1. Thank you so much for such a heartfelt response. This was a difficult one for me to repost and not edit at all. However, I wanted to stay really genuine to the first post. I believe in forgiveness, I think it is important but for those things that are unforgivable I believe that we have to make peace or we will never find true happiness and peace within ourselves.

  9. Hello Elise,

    I guess forgiveness totally depends on the person and also the actions. I think everyone must practice forgiving to others as its the only thing which make the world a better place.

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in emotional health, life alignment, and energy flow.

Elise will partner with you to align your mindset, your energy, your home and your career so that you can live your life's desire with freedom and love.

Elise offers 30 years of experience and multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.