Each year on this day, I attempt to sit down to write a new post as I reflect on the September 11 attacks of this day 12 years ago.
However, I find that it is quite difficult for me to write a reflection of my feelings on the day of the September 11 attacks as I worried about friends, family and what would become.
It is for this reason that I offer a repost of something that I had previously written regarding the September 11 attacks. Thank you for reading.
I think back on this day and I remember waking up to many phone calls telling me to turn on the television. I did this and felt a sense of disbelief like so many others.
Then I felt panic.
I live 3000 miles away from Ground Zero but I had family on their way to work in the city on that fateful day, and some already there.
I grew up in New York and it is all a very big part of my history.
As a girl, my mother would often take my grandmother, my sister and I into the city to see “a show” and explore.
We always just said “a show” as people back east don’t usually say “we are going to see a Broadway play.”
On these wonderful days we would explore FAO Schwarz, Central Park, and anything else that was of interest.
I remember at FAO my grandmother wanted me to have a gift but I did not want her to spend the money.
Bubble bath in a fancy car container was my choice. I kept that container for years even after it was empty, dried, and cracked.
I remember The Plaza for the beautiful lobby and how grown up I felt drinking tea and eating croissants with fancy jams. At the Tea Room I remember my grandmother getting excited at seeing the actors of her time. I ate a bowl of sour cream with cucumbers because I did not recognize anything else on the menu. Tavern on The Green was a favorite due to the great location. I have no idea what I ate.
We would see famous people in the streets and soap operas being taped. I remember a scene on The Plaza steps with Bo Buchanan and one of his many love interests. This was part of our life. It was what we did and it was wonderful. We did all of this with my grandmother. Later, I did all of this, and more, alone with my grandmother. The Rockettes were her favorite.
My grandmother worked in The World Trade Center.
I loved to go to work with her. Sitting in the window of her office and looking out at the city is a strong memory. I admired all of the activity that would happen 80 plus stories below. I would imagine wonderful stories for all of the people on the streets of one of the most wonderful cities in the world.
My grandmother was afraid to go to work.
She was a strong woman who was afraid to take the elevator to such a high floor. My grandmother hated that I sat all day in that window. She was afraid I would fall out, I loved that thrill of looking down even though it scared me, as well. More than that I loved watching my grandmother be a woman of the world.
I loved to watch her in her office. I admired her and I always looked at that building with love of my grandmother in my heart.
That building is gone.
I visited Ground Zero many years after the attack. As I walked I got more and more nervous. What would I see? How would I feel? I got closer and, actually, got more emotional.
At this point I looked at the street. The street that used to hold the people that I daydreamed about. I felt a feeling of overwhelm.
It is so sad to think of all that was destroyed that day. It is awful to think of the 1600 people that lost their spouses. I am sick when I think about the fact that over 3,000 kids lost at least one parent.
I was lucky, my family survived.