Do You Have Healthy Romantic Boundaries?
Create relationship boundaries that enhance your lives.
Think about what is important to you and have a discussion about these things before they become an issue. Click To Tweet
Financial issues can strain any relationship. It’s important to discuss your preferences.
Would you loan money to your neighbor? Friend? Sister?
Who pays for dates?
Do you prefer separate bank accounts? How much can one of you spend without consulting the other?
Financial issues are a regular cause of relationship issues. Create acceptable financial boundaries and hold each other to them. Prevent any financial disagreements before they happen.
You’ve both dated others.
Are the details of those past relationships off-limits, or do you both want to examine the other’s past?
What do you consider worthy of conversation, and what do you think should be left in the past? Each couple has a different opinion on this matter.
Does your partner have a right to know where you were Saturday night?
Should one partner have open access to the other partner’s journal? calendar? phone?
How much privacy is acceptable?
Some people want to know every detail, while others prefer more privacy.
Anything else that matters to either of you.
Think about the healthy romantic boundaries that you need in your relationship to feel comfortable.
What can you tolerate? What are you unwilling to tolerate?
Your relationship is unique.
Think about what you need and why.
Be clear about your expectations.
Be careful not to weaken your boundaries with these behaviors:
A lack of willingness to state your preferences. You’re undermining the whole purpose of having boundaries when you refuse to let your opinions be known. Ask yourself why you’re unwilling to let your partner know what you want.
Accepting poor treatment or behavior from your partner. When you’re willing to accept poor behavior, your partner will assume that any boundaries you agreed upon are optional.
Guilt. There are times your partner may be frustrated by the boundaries. That’s not a cause for guilt feelings. Perhaps the boundaries can be revisited, but avoid feeling guilty for something you both agreed upon.
There’s no point in setting boundaries, only to turn around and sabotage them. Belittling your boundaries like this is likely to cause resentment.
What healthy boundaries do you want in your relationship? What do you need? Click To Tweet
Sit down with your partner and talk about what you both expect from your relationship. Cover what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate.
Set boundaries that will strengthen your relationship and stick to them.
These agreed upon guidelines can prevent a lot of relationship stress and make room for more joy.
Now it is your turn, please offer a favored piece of relationship advice in the comments below.