What do Men REALLY Want For Valentine’s Day?

Valentine Flower Hearts

Disclaimer: Elise Ho, aka “Dr. Ho” is a Holistic Health & Life Coach. Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer, or a bevy of other things. Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends. Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product, or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. This is a personal Website solely reflecting Dr. Ho’s personal opinions. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of any organization with which I may be affiliated.

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What do Men REALLY Want For Valentine’s Day?


Do you know? The answers may surprise you.


It is NOT all about sex.


Do you want to know men what really want? It is NOT all about sex. Click To Tweet


8 men (all 40+) were asked what they really want for Valentine’s Day.


Additionally, they were asked how they wish to celebrate. The answers may surprise you…


Being awoken “pleasantly” is how I want my day to start. To celebrate I want to do something with just my wife. It doesn’t have to be romantic, just a day together. ~ married 8 years.


I want a good steak and a nice relaxing night!!! – dating two years


A nice home cooked meal and to stay at home would be what I want, but we will probably go out to dinner. ~ married 26 years


I want to cook a special dinner for my wife and have a quiet night together to chat and just be. I’m thinking of making her a salmon with mango salsa, couscous, and asparagus. A small strawberry cheesecake for dessert and a California Pinot Noir would be perfect. We normally don’t go out or exchange gifts, instead, we just dedicate the time to being together. –  married (common law) 6 years


I feel that Valentine’s Day is a fabricated holiday. However, I will buy boxes of See’s Candies and movie tickets for my ex-wife and daughter. My ex and I are good friends. ~ previously married 21 years, not currently dating.



I would like for my girlfriend to take me shopping for a new wardrobe, actually, help me pick out the clothes which is something I am not particularly good at. I’d also love to have dinner at a nice restaurant. ~ dating 4 months



I want a romantic evening. To celebrate, I want good food that lasts and that does not make you so full that you do not feel like sex afterward. I want a meal that paces itself…small bits of food with wine. A walk after we eat, working our way up to the bedroom, or anywhere in the house. I want to get up there early enough so that we can spend a lot of time. ~ married 26 years


What women think men REALLY want?




However, what I am hearing though is much more than that.


Perhaps we need to listen…


What do you think?


Men comment what you want.


Ladies, tell me what you think they want and what you want.


(originally published February 2017)


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Naturally Yours,
Elise Ho
Ph.D., D.N. Psych.
Behavioral & Mental Health Specialist

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20 thoughts on “What do Men REALLY Want For Valentine’s Day?”

  1. Hi Elise,
    Interesting how each of the men didn’t mention sex. A true Valentine is so much more. A simple relaxing evening can be satisfying. I like the guy who wants to go shopping lol. I think men over 40 have the right idea.


  2. What a great post… it wasn’t like buy this crazy product! I own my own business and have many clients that I manage for myself and my team, which makes it hard to get in quality time for my husband. So this year, I am going to make him a nice dinner. I also know I need to try to incorporate some more date nights with him, maybe some double dates with friends and their SO.

    1. I feel that after a while we have what we need in terms of a product plus I love experiences and apparently, the guys do too. 🙂 I 100% encourage you to date your hubby. Even a coffee date will make a huge difference in your marriage and relationship.

  3. I love that you actually got real answers from real men here! And while I’m pretty sure that no man would turn down some good old fashioned sex, the romance, care and pampering is still a big part of it all- approved by my husband as well 🙂

  4. Hi Dr. Elise,

    Great post. (wish I’d thought to ask women the same question; note for next year 😉 I’d be content with any of the 8 ideas you came up with.

    As for my druthers: I usually come up with an original love sonnet, written on posh paper and hide it in a place she’ll accidentally find during the day. Other than a ‘day-into-the-night-just-us-date’ no gifts. Been doing some variation for the 44 years we’ve been together. Seems to work…

  5. I loved the one that said they don’t buy gifts, just dedicate the time to each other. I think spending time just alone is often swallowed up with the busyness of life.

    Enjoy the journey!

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in emotional health, life alignment, and energy flow.

Elise will partner with you to align your mindset, your energy, your home and your career so that you can live your life's desire with freedom and love.

Elise offers 30 years of experience and multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.