Ditch The Parenting Guilt

As busy people, we often put too much pressure on ourselves to be everything, to do everything and to feel thrilled while doing it. This tends to lead to feelings of parenting guilt no doubt brought on because we cannot always be at 100%

Disclaimer: Elise Ho, aka “Dr. Ho” is a Holistic Health & Life Coach. Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer, or a bevy of other things. Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends. Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product, or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. This is a personal Website solely reflecting Dr. Ho’s personal opinions. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of any organization with which I may be affiliated.

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Ditch The Parenting Guilt.

 

As busy people, we often put too much pressure on ourselves to be everything, to do everything and to feel thrilled while doing it. This tends to lead to feelings of parenting guilt no doubt brought on because we cannot always be at 100%
Ask Dr. Ho...because you can literally ask me anything.
As busy people, we often put too much pressure on ourselves to be everything, to do everything and to feel thrilled while doing it. This tends to lead to feelings of parenting guilt no doubt brought on because we cannot always be at 100%

Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer or a bevy of other things. Dr. Ho is a Holistic Life Coach who provides personal, spiritual and business development along with support through natural products such as herbs, essential oils, and CBD.

 

Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends.  Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. Click HERE to read full disclosure details.

 

 

  • Why am I not home with the kids?
  • Why isn’t the house clean?
  • How can I miss the school play?”

 

That same negative nagging voice makes comments such as:

  • I am a terrible parent to have missed the school play.
  • XXX is a much better parent than I am.
  • XXX does so much more in a day than I do.

 

The list can go on and on. But, who does this voice, the voice of this person putting negativity inside of you, serve?

 

Guilt is self-destructive, wastes energy and adds stress to your life.

 

The first step to ditching the parenting guilt is to identify if you even should be feeling guilty.

 

Guilt usually manifests when a person feels they have gone against their own moral compass.

 

What needs to be determined is if you have really done so or if something else is making you feel guilty. Is your conscience playing tricks or were your actions truly wrong?

 

Did the event already occur for which you feel guilty, or is it a future event?

 

If it is an event in the future than it is not guilt that is being felt but rather the close cousin called “worry.”  In the case of worry over a future event keep in mind that you can still change the future.

 

Create a list of all of the reasons for which you are worried, evaluate the list for real issues and then brainstorm how you can handle the real issues.

 

If the event is in the past then you must learn to make your peace with it so that you can move on. Consider what could have been done to create a more positive outcome. How could the situation have been handled differently?

 

Even if it could have been handled differently, if there is nothing that can be done to improve the situation, then you must let go of the guilt.

 

If you could have handled things differently and you now have a plan should the same situation arise then you must let go of the guilt.

 

LET GO OF THE GUILT.” Guilt serves no one.

 

Allow yourself the realization that you are doing the best you can. You have made decisions to the best of your knowledge at the time.

 

Do not look back and be upset because you did not make the healthiest choices but, rather, think about whether or not you made the healthiest choices based on what you knew at the time.

 

Holding on to parenting guilt, or any guilt for that matter serves no positive purpose.

 

Guilt is toxic to your mental and your physical health. Guilt can cause extreme bouts of anxiety, stomach cramping, weight gain, sleep deprivation and a whole host of issues with the people in our lives.

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Originally published September 9, 2014

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Naturally Yours,
Elise Ho
Ph.D., D.N. Psych.
Behavioral & Mental Health Specialist

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20 thoughts on “Ditch The Parenting Guilt”

  1. This is such an important post with an important message. We are all guilty (oh dear!) of feeling like this. I know I am, but with the reminders in here, it’s possible for all of us to feel better about ourselves and situations we may find ourselves in. Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales, do come back next week!

  2. I think the expectations for being a mum these days are huge and social media plays a big part in perception. I also find it interesting that mums get the mummy guilt but I’m pretty certain dads don’t get it. Still something I’m working on.

  3. What struck me was how a husband and a wife could have different guilt about the upbringing of the children. Different generations think differently about guilt.

    1. You really do point out a very important thing to be aware. The expectations of each generation and therefore the guilt that they may feel does change. Now if we all could just get to skipping over the guilt, doing the best that we can and supporting each other it would be great.

  4. Hi Elise,

    Guilt is so toxic and a waste of time in my book! But it does come up at times, especially if you are a mom. Holding on to guilt will not only destroy your inner being, but you children do pick up on feelings.

    There are great ways you have explained to help diminish that Guilt! But, as you mention, if one cannot do it alone, call a health professional.

    Great advice!

    -Donna

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in emotional health, life alignment, and energy flow.

Elise will partner with you to align your mindset, your energy, your home and your career so that you can live your life's desire with freedom and love.

Elise offers 30 years of experience and multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.