The more you worry about having an orgasm the less likely you are to have one which brings us to our first tip for having a better orgasm (or one at all).
- Stop worrying. This is a time to enjoy the activity. Women have a way of getting in their head and in that can break the connection with their partner. Perhaps you are concerned that the kids may walk in (invest in a lock), you are self conscious about how you look (he is just excited to have sex and absolutely not focused on what you think of as your flaws), or you are so hyperfocused on trying to achieve orgasm that you are virtually making it impossible to have one.
- Exchange some love before the “loving.” Hand holding, cuddling and kissing all release oxytocin. This “feel good hormone” can help with achieving orgasms. There has also been research that oxytocin strengthens a mans attraction to his partner even when not in the throws of passion. That is a win-win.
- Foreplay. In order to achieve orgasm it is necessary for extra blood flow to the genitals. Women will especially benefit from clitoral stimulation. Tips and techniques for that include varying pressure, alternating movements, and using your tongue, toys or fingers. For more tips read this excellent article.
- Exercise. General exercise can allow you more stamina, confidence and control over your body. Exercising the vagina muscles can help to increase enjoyment for both you and your partner, bring blood flow to the, oh so important, pelvic floor (this is where the magic is) and help to increase arousal. Plus it is just fun knowing that you can squeeze him without even using your hands.
- Experiment with new positions. I say this one with a bit of caution. Do not go crazy and try complicated positions that cause you to have to concentrate on not falling off and hitting your head. Instead explore different positions until you find the one, two or ten that work best for you. Many women like to be on top so that they have more control over the temp and overall stimulation. Where others may prefer the missionary position. For more on sexual positions you may enjoy this article.
And here are a few bonus tips for you:
- Stop faking it. How is your lover to know that you are not fully enjoying yourself if you are faking it?
- Teach your lover what you like. Explore on yourself and see what brings you to orgasm, or simply tell him what you do, and do not, enjoy about what he is doing to you. He can take it and will actually appreciate it (just be nice).
- Alcohol and some foods can negatively affect sexual performance and enjoyment. That post is coming to the blog very soon but for right now just sit with that knowledge.
If these tips did not get you to the big “O” do not worry as there are plenty more where that came from.
As with all things if a medical problem is suspected you should consult your healthcare practitioner. Once that is ruled out then it is time to play, have fun and see where the ride takes you.
O… remember that sharing is caring so if you enjoyed this post, or it helped you in anyway, I sure would love it if you shared 🙂
If you have any questions, thoughts to share or other suggestions please do comment below.