Dr. John Gray on Positive Parenting Skills

In this ongoing series on Positive Parenting Skills, Dr. John Gray and I turn to the often asked question of “Why Isn’t My Teen Listening To Me?”
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Dr. John Gray on the often asked question of "Why Isn't My Teen Listening To Me?"

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The reality is that parents should be more concerned about kids that do not turn a deaf ear.


The reason for this is that children that seem to be turning a deaf ear are really just going through a “natural and necessary progression to adulthood.” As well, they usually seem to be turning a deaf ear but are actually listening on at least some level.


In Dr. Gray’s bestselling book, Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children he points out that “Up until 13 years old, children do not have the capacity to form their own opinions, and they depend on their parents to decipher all information for them.”


Once they reach the important teen years they have a shift in thinking which usually results in the shift from thinking that Mom and Dad know everything to the realization that they do not.


Now the teen will attempt to exercise their independence and will step towards maturity.  If the child is being respectful, and safe, then his behavior should be encouraged not discouraged.


This is the time for the parent to adjust to the teen’s new way of thinking and to remember not to be combative.


Engage your teen in conversation and offer insights but allow them to make decisions. Appreciate their logic and views even if you disagree. Click To Tweet


If you allow your child a sense of independence than life does not have to be a battle.


Do remember though to watch for their safety above all else.


We, as parents, do sometimes have to pick our battles but it is important to pick carefully. If it is a small matter then treat it as such.


Foster a strong relationship in which you and your teen speak of many topics.


Enjoy each other’s company and rebellion may not be all that big of a deal.


John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book,  Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time. 


To get tips from mothers across the world, pick up your copy of Amazing Moms HERE.

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originally published August 1, 2018

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in Mindset, Stress Management, Emotional Health and the Brain-Gut Connection to it all.

During Elise's 30+ years of experience she has been honored to work closely with health and wellness pioneers such as Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. John Gray, and several others.

Dr. Ho holds multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.