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Is Daddy Your Super Hero?

Disclaimer: Elise Ho, aka “Dr. Ho” is a Holistic Health & Life Coach. Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer, or a bevy of other things. Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends. Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product, or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. This is a personal Website solely reflecting Dr. Ho’s personal opinions. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of any organization with which I may be affiliated.

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There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Daddy does things very differently than Mommy does.

What is sometimes in doubt is who does them right. But really, does someone really do them “more right” than the other? Does any of that even matter?

What really matters is playing to each others strengths in this thing called parenting.

When speaking to kids I asked “What does Daddy do right?” and the responses absolutely ranged.

My dad does stuff with me like play with Lego’s and do work with his tools. – 6 year old boy

Dad cooks dinner when mom is not home. I like daddy’s food better. – 8 year old girl

He is not gone all of the time. He spends time playing with me. – 10 year old boy

We like fishing with dad. –  12 year old twins, one boy and one girl

My dad takes me to eat food that my mom wont let us have. – 13 year old girl

My dad taught me how to drive. He was less nervous than mom. – 17 year old boy

After this conversation with the kids, I was very curious what types of answers I would get if i I asked about mom. So I did.

“What does Mommy do right?”

Mom organizes us. She is really great at keeping schedules. –  15 year old boy

Mom comes to my games and cheers really loud. Sometimes I wish she did not cheer so loud. – 12 year old boy

My mom and I like to cook together. Well mostly I like to cook and I really like when my mom cleans while I cook. – 16 year old girl

My parents are divorced. Mom does not live with us, she lives with her boyfriend. She takes us to nice restaurants to eat. –   Sisters, 10 and 12 years old

My moms run with me. I want to learn to run better. – 12 year old girl

My mom took me shopping for sneakers and then we have been going to the gym together. – 15 year old boy

So what exactly is needed? How can we unite as parents and truly support our family?

This is up to debate and very individual depending on the household and specific family circumstances. Here I share some insights into different parenting styles that will hopefully inspire conversation surrounding around what is best for your unique and individual family.

  • If you are both working outside of the home it may be important to note that women typically have a harder time with leaving. Perhaps mom will feel better about the hand off if she writes a note to the sitter with all of the info that is needed to get through the day. This may make mom feel more at ease throughout the day.
  • Mom usually feels that she should be able to do her work, run the kids around town, cook dinner, do laundry and complete the myriad of other tasks that it takes to run a home and have a happy well balanced family. Guess what? We can’t!

    We may be Wonder Woman but sometimes we do need Superman to come in and save the day.

  • Dad’s want to be fully involved in decisions surrounding around the family but can feel left out when those decisions are made without him. Set some time for a family discussion and review the family priorities and division of labor.
  • Dads tend to see their child in relation to the world. Mom tends to see the world in relation to their child.  These can both be very positive and help to shape a child that is well rounded.
  • As parents you may disagree on the best way to parent your child. It is okay to disagree but it is not okay to neglect to come to a conclusion on how to handle a specific situation. It is of the utmost importance that you present a united front to your child. Without that the child is left confused and the authority of both parents is compromised.

To learn more about being united in parenting please visit me at United We Parent where you will find information on our upcoming California parenting conference.

Now it is your turn, what do you feel is the most important factor in supporting, and working together, to raise SUPERKIDS?

 

Please use the comment section below to share your tips, questions, and/or thoughts about this post.

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Naturally Yours,
Elise Ho
Ph.D., D.N. Psych.
Behavioral & Mental Health Specialist

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12 thoughts on “Is Daddy Your Super Hero?”

  1. I believe both roles are so important. Kids need a mom and a dad. Neither is replaceable. Thanks for your post.

  2. Hi Elise. My last blog post was about marriage, but I addressed this very issue in the article. Our society has gotten the erroneous idea that fathers are not important, which simply is not true. When celebrity women have children without fathers; when television shows and commercials portray fathers as stupid, incompetent, or useless, we all lose.

    The article I linked to in my post came from the New York Times, not a bastion of conservative thought. It was a book review, but the author seemed to be relieved that the book upheld fatherhood!

    We not only need to raise up our husbands in our children’s eyes, we need to be teaching our boys how to be strong husbands, fathers, and men. Thanks so much for this post which points out the importance of fathers.

    1. With my work, personally, and at United We Parent my strong desire is to help people invite all parents into parenting…fathers, mothers, step-parents and on and on. If we want to raise wonderful children we have to give them wonderful role models, life experiences and room to stretch their wings.

  3. Deborah A. Ten Brink

    Parenting is such a special privilege. We want to raise responsible and positive contributions to our family, our lives, and our communities.

    When I think back on my childhood as an only child, my parents were my role models, mentors, and yes, super-heroes. Some things they did right, some things wrong. What has stayed with me is that they utilized all of the skills they had learned and with love, raised me the very best they could.

    Each family unit is unique and has to set up all duties and responsibilities as they see fit, with love, respect, and individualism.

    Even without perfect parents, I think I turned out alright! Love I believe was the greatest contributor.

  4. Good Read, I enjoyed hearing the answers from the kids. I think that teaching our kids how to serve and is vital n today’s society. We should lead by example by serving one another in the home. If we raise selfless serving super-kids then they will be amazing super-grownups.

  5. I think the parent duties should be split as much as possible, but honestly my husband works long hours so I’m the one disciplining during the week and keeping the house in order. It works for us because we can have our fun times on the weekends and our daughter is a happy girl!

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in emotional health, life alignment, and energy flow.

Elise will partner with you to align your mindset, your energy, your home and your career so that you can live your life's desire with freedom and love.

Elise offers 30 years of experience and multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.