As our children change so must we.
John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time. Learn more about John Gray at www.marsvenus.com.
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These messages and other important information can be found in Dr. Gray’s bestselling book, Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children.
1. It’s Okay to be different.
Different genders, needs, temperaments, body types, intelligence and speeds of learning are just some of the things that can affect a child’s personality. It is important that they feel loved and accepted no matter what. It is essential that a child believes “it’s okay to be different” because it is ok. We must carefully consider here when it is a good time to give advice and when it is time to just listen.
2. It’s Okay to make mistakes.
Mistakes are a natural occurrence in life and this is most especially so as children make the transition from innocence to responsibility. It is important to learn from mistakes and to teach our children how to make amends. When our children do make mistakes, and they will indeed make plenty of them we should be reacting calmly and work on adjusting their behavior, rather than punishing. Of course, there may come a time where it is necessary to become more strict so that we do not put our teens at risk for serious trouble.
3. It’s Okay to express negative emotions.
Negative emotions are a very normal part of life. Allowing our children to “vent” their anger and manage their feelings in other ways is a very important skill for them to learn. We need to children to recognize the cues that indicate that they are getting angry so that they can work with you on ways to handle that anger in a positive manner before it gets out of control.
4. It’s Okay to want more.
It is very normal to want more. This feeling and desire, in fact, gives us the motivation to strive for bigger and better things whether that be relationships, monetary items or to fulfill other wants or needs. We want to teach our children how to ask, negotiate, express gratitude and handle disappointments. These are skills that will serve them well in the present and the future. If we do not teach that “it’s okay to want more” we are robbing our children of a very important learning experience.
5. It’s Okay to say no, but remember Mom and Dad are the bosses.
To be secure a child must feel heard but always know that they are not the bosses. Children that do not go through this healthy resistance may actually go through an unfortunate rebellion around puberty. Permission to ask for things and then the ability to accept that the answer is sometimes “no” allows children to develop a healthy sense of self.
Raising your child from birth to preteen to teen to adulthood is not about controlling your child and forcing them to your will. Rather it is about raising a good and productive member of society. Click To Tweet
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