I Was Not Ready To Have A Baby

Some women say they are so in tune with their bodies that they know within just a few weeks of conceiving that they are pregnant. I am not one of those women. By the time I finally took a test to see if I was having a baby, I was already almost 8 weeks pregnant.

Disclaimer: Elise Ho, aka “Dr. Ho” is a Holistic Health & Life Coach. Dr. Ho is NOT a medical doctor, licensed therapist, lawyer, or a bevy of other things. Products or services that Dr. Ho believes in are the only ones that she recommends. Dr. Ho may receive compensation, product, or an affiliate commission on anything you see on this site. This is a personal Website solely reflecting Dr. Ho’s personal opinions. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of any organization with which I may be affiliated.

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I Was Not Ready To Have A Baby

Sam Dobson is a blogger at Sam Dobson Writes, She joins us today to us to talk about that time she was not quite ready to have a baby.

By Sam Dobson

Some women say they are so in tune with their bodies that they know within just a few weeks of conceiving that they are pregnant. I am not one of those women.

By the time I finally took a test to see if I was having a baby, I was already almost 8 weeks pregnant.

It’s not that I was totally clueless, but rather I was procrastinating to avoid disappointment.

My husband, Blake, and I had been married for exactly two years, and although we talked about kids from time to time, neither of us were quite ready to pull the goalie out of the game.

We weren’t ready to intentionally try for a baby, yet we weren’t being very careful either.

We remained in a sort of limbo for months, wanting kids one day, but not knowing if that day was today.

One morning we were out to breakfast at a local diner. After just a few bites of my eggs and toast, I suddenly got the urge to vomit. I chalked it up to the sugary mojitos I had at dinner the night before, but Blake wasn’t convinced. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had my period, and my boobs had been unusually painful the last few days. So after breakfast, we stopped off at Target to buy a pregnancy test, but I was hesitant to take it.

For two days the unopened box sat on the top of toilet tank. I was avoiding it, and my husband knew it. To his credit, he only asked me once when I was going to take the test. In reply, I just shrugged and completely dodged the question. I wasn’t sure what was preventing me from just taking it.

Was it because I wasn’t ready to be a mother?

Was it because I was afraid of a negative result?

Either way, I honestly didn’t have an answer as to when I would ready to take the test.

A couple of days later, I walked into the bathroom before bed and there was that unopened pregnancy test. After staring at it for a few moments, I decided to just take it. I didn’t even give me husband a heads up; probably because I wasn’t sure which way I wanted this to go. I peed on the stick and waited. I was in the bathroom so long, I’m surprised my husband didn’t come looking for me. When a result finally came through, I walked out of the bathroom in shocked silence. Blake immediately asked if I was okay, and wondered what was wrong. Not realizing I had a smile on my face, I showed him the positive pregnancy test, and without skipping a beat, he embraced me with pure happiness.

From that moment, it was clear that this was something we both wanted, but then why did I have such mixed feelings up to that point? Perhaps it was because I wasn’t ready. Here’s the thing though, I don’t think I would have ever been truly ready.

Having a baby is the biggest life change you can make, and it’s scary in so many ways.

Looking back, I think it’s only natural that I had cold feet.

Deep down I knew I wanted a baby, but I was too afraid to consciously make it happen.

It’s pretty amazing how quickly the maternal instinct kicked in. Almost instantly, worry and doubt took the back seat, and excitement and preparation took over. I was as ready as I’d ever been to have a baby. Don’t get me wrong, worry and doubt still reared their ugly heads every once in awhile.

Would I be a good mother? How would we adjust to life with a baby?

But those worries were few and far in between. I was too focused on growing a healthy baby and bringing her into this world safely.

The funny thing is, those pre-baby jitters don’t really go away, they just take on a different form. Even now, as I will my nine-month-old to take a much-needed nap, I worry. Is she growing and developing as she should? Will she ever sleep through the night? Am I a good mother? I think it’s only human to second guess yourself sometimes.

Despite the worry that never seems to completely disappear, I’m pretty confident that I’m figuring out this whole parenting thing.

How about you? Did you feel ready to have a baby when you became pregnant? Did your feelings change once you were pregnant?

Please use the comment section below to share your tips, questions, and/or thoughts about this post.

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Naturally Yours,
Elise Ho
Ph.D., D.N. Psych.
Behavioral & Mental Health Specialist

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18 thoughts on “I Was Not Ready To Have A Baby”

  1. Out of all of the babies I’ve had, I was only ready for ONE of them. She was a blessing and a prayed for baby. The rest of them were surprises and came at a time I thought I wasn’t ready for. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who had these feelings.

  2. I totally get it <3 We were trying and trying and told we wouldn't be able to when we finally found out we were pregnant. That's when I realized I wasn't ready. Woops too late now! But I wouldnt trade it for the world!!!!

    1. I’m so happy you were able to conceive after trying for so long! But it’s funny how that happens, right? We think we are so ready for something and then when push comes to shove, we get cold feet.

      Thank you for reading!

  3. Your initial apprehensions were so close to mine..I too wanted to be a mom but yet not when I conceived. After getting the positive result , I shed tears for more than 15minutes and then my husband took the charge to get me back to normal. The initial fears are really bad, but slowly we start loving things and the baby and life slowly settles back. Loved reading your post

    1. It can be quite the shock if you weren’t planning for it. I totally understand. And it’s easier to get on board and get excited when you have a partner who feels the same way. So happy to hear it all worked out for you.

      Thank you so much for reading!

  4. Your little one is so precious! I was so ready to become a mom when I got pregnant but my little sister had a surprise baby! It was fun walking through both our stories together and we love having our kiddos so close in age!

    1. Awe, you’re too sweet!

      That’s so interesting, because my sister and I were the same. She was the one destined to be a mom, and couldn’t wait to do so. I was the opposite, but we both enjoy being a mom just the same.

      Thanks for reading!

    1. That’s a good point! I soaked up every piece of info I could while pregnant. I wanted to be as prepared as possible, even though you can’t really be 100% prepared.

      Thanks for reading!

  5. I really don’t think we’re ever really ready to have a baby- heck for most life changes. If we waited until everything was perfect we’d never do anything. I’m glad you warmed up to the idea quickly though and it was an amazing experience ❤️ I guess we find out we’re ready when the little plus pops up sometimes!!!

    1. My sentiments exactly! How can you ever really be ready for something so life changing? But it’s amazing when the instincts take over.

      Thank you so much for reading!

  6. I can totally relate to this, except for me I didn’t feel ready until after my son was born and I held him in my arms — it was that cliched perfect world-turning-upside-down moment.

    1. I have friends who have said the same thing. They just weren’t excited throughout their pregnancy, but once that baby was placed in their arms, everything changed. It’s magical, really.

      Thanks for reading!

  7. I love this! This about sums up how I have been feeling lately. I had sworn off babies for the last 3 years, and all of a sudden, my desires have changed and I have surprised myself.

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About The Author

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho

Dr. Elise Ho is a Holistic Health & Life Coach with a special interest in emotional health, life alignment, and energy flow.

Elise will partner with you to align your mindset, your energy, your home and your career so that you can live your life's desire with freedom and love.

Elise offers 30 years of experience and multiple certifications and degrees including a Ph.D. in Natural Health and a doctoral degree in Naturopathic Psychology.